Dove was just shy of being 12. This meant she was still 11 on the cusp of being 12, but also afraid of turning 12, and wanted to hold it at far away as possible, like a healthy person picking up a dirty kleenex. Being eleven meant being allowed to cuddle under a blanket when she said the wrong thing again at school and eating cookies with root beer at the end of a long week to forget the mental gymnastics of balancing school and friends. Yes, twelve meant you needed to be someone and Dove very much didn't know who she wanted to be. Joy, I'm sad. I don't see anything good in me, and when I do, it goes away so quickly. The Lord's plan never changes for you. I want so badly to do all these big things for Him, but all He asks of me is to come. To come to Him just as I am. Story ideas -pride and dishonesty -not being self-aware Antagonists dishonesty insecurity that they are not the best Protagonist Journey of being insecure, and doubtful to firm To go through ascension one must go through cruxifiction Instead of despair find comfort in prayer

Another week. It seems at the beginning of a new year, the idea of possibilities and dreams can overwhelm and dibilitate one's hopes. This week I found myself feeling despair and hopelessness often. It seems like God has plans, but I continually feel paralyzed due to despair and hopelessness. I dream of being someone who can stand solidly for the Lord, but my character is weak. My flesh is week. However, the Lord reminded me and was my hope this week. He is the gospel. The gospel is not a one time thing. It is something we need to tell ourselves when the days grow weary and the moments grow cold. The Lord is always new. He is always resurrection life. Jesus, thank you You turn my despair into prayer. Lord, I get hopeless so often but thank you you save me again and again. Some moments from this week: Singing with Philip Going to the children's museum with Eden, Jeremiah, and William Resuming our Bible study Telling Mrs. Rasdell that it was Anne's birthday