Talking to the Lord is a little like this
There are things you know you should say
But you just can't say them
Your heart is stubborn
It wants it's own way
It longs for control
The Lord would whisper
He would not demand
The submission is sweet
Out of love
In love
From love
It surrenders
It is then free
For most of my life, I despised being ordinary. I was always thinking of how to create special moments-ones that were unique and worth rememebering. Different from everyday experiences. In this chase for "special" moments, I found myself exhausted and depleted-far from the joy I hoped to feel. Starting in 202, during the pandemic lockdown, I found myself finding peace I had never expereinced before in the most mundane tasks and the mot ordinary days. In those quiet moments, I could slowly hear the gentle and soft voice of God. The unhurried pace of life helped me to find joy in my body, soul, and most of all, my spirit.
I came to learn that growing in the Lord does not always happen in special moments, but in the everyday rhythms we create and follow, so that no matter the circumstance, we are able to just taste and see the abudance of God's life. I wish I could say my life is always like this and I'm alway following these rhythms- sadly, that is the case. However, because I have come to practice these rhythms and experience the joy and life that flow from them, I can return to them. Oh, believer, it is in these slow moments, and dare I say, boring moments, that we can touch and enjoy Christ alone. When the gentellest breeze and beam of sunlight remind us just how sweet and dear our Lord Jesus is.
This is my song, this is my prayer.
Lord be mine in the ordinary days.
Then I may remember
how everything points to you.
Dear Carol,
You wish your parents talked to you more. You wish your mom and dad would just love you for you, and not for what you do. You wih they could have let you greive. However, throughout all of this, the Lord was writing a different story. One of immense grace and kindness, where He never left you alone. He was alway with you and taught you that He is with you as you walk through deep waters. He showed you love, deep, real love in so many way. In the word, people, even Christian, have a joy that is not very deep. It is a joy that can be taken away. I think you've taught me over the years that real joy is surrendering to your love. It is knowing you. Lord, I trust you. I praise you. Praise the Lord! May my praise join with the other saints to declare your worthiness.
Lilly has been a dear friend to me. Her spirit and her presence feel so safe and like I'm in a hug. I think it's because her walk with the Lord has been sincere and genuine. Just as Joy and Jackie's, and Eden's. I feel so lucky to have always been with brothers and sisters whose love for the Lord is not a facade. They are not hiding anything. What a privilege.
The moments that are hardest with the Lord are those of surrender. When He is asking me to do something or give up something I don't think I can. I want to hold on so tightly it feels like I'm going to get robe burn, but still that feeling is somehow more comfortable than letting go. It's the moments when He asks me to receive Him as my whole satisfaction, and my heart just sighs and clenches tighter. Lord, don't let me go. Come again in your mercy and grace and I would unclench my heart to you.
Hello! What a happy happenstance you stumbled upon this place! I hope it would be what you need today-maybe the words would bring you the joy of the dappled sun in the trees, or the melancholy yet refreshing sprinkle of rain on a warm spring day. However you are, I hope these words can transport you to the most wonderful place I know- the safe haven which is the Savior's breast. May you abide there now and forever more.
Dove was just shy of being 12. This meant she was still 11 on the cusp of being 12, but also afraid of turning 12, and wanted to hold it at far away as possible, like a healthy person picking up a dirty kleenex. Being eleven meant being allowed to cuddle under a blanket when she said the wrong thing again at school and eating cookies with root beer at the end of a long week to forget the mental gymnastics of balancing school and friends. Yes, twelve meant you needed to be someone and Dove very much didn't know who she wanted to be.
Joy, I'm sad. I don't see anything good in me, and when I do, it goes away so quickly.
The Lord's plan never changes for you. I want so badly to do all these big things for Him, but all He asks of me is to come. To come to Him just as I am.
Story ideas
-pride and dishonesty
-not being self-aware
Antagonists
dishonesty
insecurity that they are not the best
Protagonist
Journey of being insecure, and doubtful to firm
To go through ascension one must go through cruxifiction
Instead of despair find comfort in prayer
Another week. It seems at the beginning of a new year, the idea of possibilities and dreams can overwhelm and dibilitate one's hopes. This week I found myself feeling despair and hopelessness often. It seems like God has plans, but I continually feel paralyzed due to despair and hopelessness. I dream of being someone who can stand solidly for the Lord, but my character is weak. My flesh is week. However, the Lord reminded me and was my hope this week. He is the gospel. The gospel is not a one time thing. It is something we need to tell ourselves when the days grow weary and the moments grow cold. The Lord is always new. He is always resurrection life. Jesus, thank you You turn my despair into prayer. Lord, I get hopeless so often but thank you you save me again and again.
Some moments from this week:
Singing with Philip
Going to the children's museum with Eden, Jeremiah, and William
Resuming our Bible study
Telling Mrs. Rasdell that it was Anne's birthday
